


Cool

by BSsmut (bshiat)



Series: Season of Kink 2020 - Lejic Bingo [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Object Penetration, Season of Kink, Season of Kink 2020, kink bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bshiat/pseuds/BSsmut
Summary: “Has anybody ever told you that you’re insane, McKay?”“That’s really a meaningless word at this point, isn’t it? We’re fighting space vampires that suck the life out of you with their hands. I don’t think it makes any sense to abide by what the average person on Earth thinks is insane.”---Another piece for Season of Kink Bingo. The kink for this one: Object Penetration
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: Season of Kink 2020 - Lejic Bingo [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925365
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	1. Preamble

**Author's Note:**

> SKIP FIRST CHAPTER TO GET TO THE SMUT!

“Has anybody ever told you that you’re  _ insane,  _ McKay?”

“That’s really a meaningless word at this point, isn’t it? We’re fighting space vampires that suck the life out of you with their  _ hands.  _ I don’t think it makes any sense to abide by what the average person on Earth thinks is insane.”

John has to actually stop walking for a moment, then. He gives Rodney a look that he hopes is conveying the - rather strong - feelings he has about where Rodney can shove his little “widening horizons” speech.

“Look, it’s just  _ one time!”  _ Rodney begs, instead of apologizing which is what a normal  _ person  _ would’ve realized that they had to do. No, Rodney McKay looks at sign after sign telling him to do something, and just turns the other way and barrels on. John wonders how Colonel Carter never shot Rodney. She took  _ weeks  _ of this at the mountain? John’s about to crack within the first day.

He starts walking again before the pent up energy makes him do something he’ll regret.

“McKay, I said  _ no.  _ Stop pressing it if you don’t want to regret it,” John says in a tone  _ he  _ finds very subdued, but Rodney looks as if John’s killed his cat in front of him. The drop in spirit and overall posture is ridiculous. And the thing is, John knows that it isn’t even an act or a tantrum. This… this  _ maniac  _ of a best friend he has really thought he had a chance.

_ Certifiable,  _ John thinks, taking a deep breath and counting to ten.

“Oh, I… I understand,” Rodney says, clearly  _ not  _ getting it, even a little. The kicked-puppy look sneaks through the cloud of irritation John has surrounding him, and manages to lower his defences a little.

“Look, Rodney,” he starts, then there’s a marine coming in their direction, so he stops talking. “This isn’t the place.” Rodney lights up. “Not for  _ that!  _ I can’t believe you still… I’m saying this isn’t the place to  _ talk  _ about it. We’re not doing it! That part’s final. I just… I don’t want you to think that I hate you, or anything like that.” He nods at the marine, then forces himself to look at Rodney. “Just stick to women, alright? You seem to be doing... fine... there. Got a date with Keller last week, right?”

Rodney looks confused for a very brief second, then rolls his eyes. “I can get  _ men, _ Major. That’s not the problem.”

“Colonel, actually.”

“Right, well,  _ colonel,  _ I can pick up men much easier than women, if you must know.”

John just stares at him, eyebrows raised, before turning his head back towards the corridor. They were meant to go to the cafeteria, but something tells him they’ll need to be somewhere private soon, before somebody overhears something they shouldn’t, so he changes their path. Before he can think further, Rodney says something to make him do a double-take.

“It’s not like I can just wear tighter khakis and ask a woman if they have an hour free that night. That would be...crude.”

Once his brain cells start firing again, John responds. “Right, because what you did to Carter, from what I hear, was much more nuanced than that.”

“That’s the problem!” Rodney laments, waving his arms. “When I  _ really  _ want something, nothing works! It’s like my brain decides to sabotage every attempt I make.” John doesn’t have to look at him to hear the frown. “Just like this.”

“Oh come on, Rodney. You don’t  _ really…  _ Do you actually want it?”

“More than you know,” Rodney says quickly, apparently sensing he might have an in.

“More than a ZPM?” John tries to joke, while making every effort to  _ not _ think about what it would be like to accept Rodney’s offer.

“Oh, that is just playing dirty, Sheppard.”

They’re finally only a dozen feet from John’s room. At this point, John sees no reason not to have the rest of this conversation in there. They’ll stay by the couch. He won’t sit down. It’ll be fine. He doesn’t  _ want  _ Rodney’s offer. It’s fine.

Rodney makes no objections to being steered into John’s room. Thankfully, for once in his life, he also isn’t jumping to conclusions and trying to jump John. He’d been half-ready to fight Rodney off.

“Look, Rodney. Believe it or not, this  _ has  _ happened to me before. I can honestly tell you that I wasn’t expecting it from my team, but I’ve had it happen with friends. It never ends well.”

“I won’t be demanding! I won’t! Just let me--”

“Problem number  _ one,”  _ John presses on. “That you’re still stuck on. I’m a  _ person,  _ Rodney. I can’t believe you still don’t get that. You’re pushing forty! This approach doesn’t work because I’m not an obstacle in your way to get to my dick.” He’s harsh, but he has to be.  _ Tough love,  _ he tells himself. They need to set and keep their boundaries.

“I didn’t  _ mean to look,”  _ Rodney says, back to his whiny, kicked-puppy expression.

“But you saw it, and now you think you’ll check some sort of box by getting to it. It’s not that impressive a box to check off, and honestly, it’s  _ not  _ as fun as you think it’ll be.” In John’s experience, which included a couple of self-proclaimed size queens, most people loved the idea, but didn’t like the reality. And he wasn’t about to jeopardize a good working and social relationship for a lousy lay.

Rodney looks at John the way John has seen him look at foreign technology that doesn’t have writing on it that Rodney can read. He’s trying to figure something out. John feels exposed, ironically, despite having been naked in the contamination shower with Rodney just this morning.

“You’re not saying what it doesn’t work  _ for you,”  _ Rodney says, finally, voice rising at the end.

“And I don’t have to, McKay. Consent doesn’t need to be questioned.”

As expected, Rodney does recoil a bit at that. “I wouldn’t… I’m not trying  _ coerce…  _ I just… Answer me this: Do you not want to, or do you want to, but think it’s a bad idea?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me.” Wide-eyed and honest, as always. McKay should never play poker.

“I think it’s a bad idea,” John responds, not wanting to lie.

“I wouldn’t ask for anything,” Rodney says. “This has-- I’ve done this before. Just give me forty minutes, and I promise I’ll leave you alone.”

“I’ve never known you to leave  _ anything  _ alone just because somebody said so, Rodney. And that’s not the problem. I do believe you won’t come back for more. I also believe that it’ll be awkward anyway, after.”

Rodney takes another pause during which John can hear the gears in his head turn. It sounds exhausting, being Rodney. How did Cadman put up with hearing all that?

“Then I have a proposition,” Rodney says, chin raised, determined.

“I believe you already made one, and have been badgering me about it for the past two hours.”

“Another one,” Rodney concedes. “Look. You think that we won’t enjoy it, and that it won’t be fun, and you’ll just feel used.” John doesn’t say anything, so Rodney continues after a quick breath. “How about I arrange for some dinner in my room, and we…” He blushes. Rodney actually, honest-to-god  _ blushes,  _ and John’s more confused than ever. “If you’re amenable, we have sex, but you keep your pants on. Depending on how comfortable you feel, I can show you just how much I’d enjoy it if you didn’t.”

John frowns. Pants-on sex? Like teenagers? “I don’t see how…”

Rodney, of course, hangs on to the lack of rejection in John’s response. “I have toys. You can watch or use them on me, I don’t mind either way, as long as you don’t make fun of me.”

John’s brain does another quick freeze-reboot. “Toys?” he asks, hoping his voice doesn’t sound the way it just did in his head.

“My favorite one isn’t as big as  _ that,”  _ Rodney says thoughtfully, gesturing towards John’s crotch area. “But real dicks also have more give. I always thought about an inflatable one, but I wasn’t going to bring  _ that  _ large a variety in a bag being checked by SGC security! I get teased enough as it is.” He frowns at the wall for a second, then turns back to John. “In any case, I have options in that regard, even if you don’t get involved. Get a bullet vibe in with the biggest dildo, or two of the small dildos, or something.” He shrugs with both shoulders. “You’d see that I  _ can  _ in fact do little-- well, I guess not so little -- Colonel justice.”

On one hand, Rodney’s little spiel has worked. Rodney is  _ many  _ things, including arrogant and annoying, but the former is not unwarranted. The way he’s describing taking in two toys at once… It works. John believes that Rodney could actually take his cock, and the thought excites him. It’s been  _ years  _ since he’s gotten any proper action, and almost a decade since he was the one to top.

On the other hand, if he gives in and fucks Rodney now, he a) will have let Rodney win, and b) turned down the chance to watch an embarrassed, worried Rodney stick two dildos up his ass.

“OK,” John says, making it into two syllables, and watching Rodney’s face light up.

Rodney puts his hands together with a loud clapping sound, and nods, walking away without so much as a “see you later”, or “2100 it is, Sheppard”.

John watches him leave, head tilted a bit, and wonders if Rodney’s put on those pants to try to persuade John into agreeing to sleep with him.


	2. The Smut

John’s not exactly a man of romance, his love of Cash notwithstanding. Yet, he still wasn’t expecting… He thought they were going to have dinner first. Hadn’t that been the idea?

“Oh good, you’re here,” Rodney says, running his hands through his frazzled hair. He has a towel around his waist, clearly just out of the shower. Instead of going towards the coffee table where two dinner trays were set up, he went to the bed, and-- wow, ok he really had zero self-confidence issues, apparently. He laid down the towel he’d been using to cover himself, and started putting things on it from his bedside drawer. John tried to look at what he was doing, but his gaze kept coming back to Rodney’s ass instead.

“So,” Rodney said, glancing back briefly. “I’ll start with the prostate massager, have a few minutes of that before anything else. You can eat if you want.” He gestures, without look, towards the coffee table. “I can let you know when I have the large dildo in.” He sounds both matter-of-fact and embarrassed at the same time, and John feels an unexpected fondness. For all his bravado, Rodney really isn’t expecting John to be interested at all, is he? He thinks John will see that he can physically handle John’s cock in his ass, and that’s it.

“You won’t eat?” John asks, taking his shirt, then boots off.

Rodney shakes his head, still looking at the bed and not at John. “I always feel queasy if I move too much, right after.”

“OK,” John says softly. It’s textbook awkward and stilted, and yet easy, as all things with Rodney seem to be, with the two of them. He walks towards the bed and puts a hand very slowly on Rodney’s shoulder. Rodney doesn’t move. “How about we get comfortable?”

Quietly, Rodney settles, sitting down on the bed, back to the wall. He grabs an L shaped toy that John assumes is the prostate massager, and pauses, staring at his own needs. It looks like he wants to spread his legs and get on with it, but is getting stage-fright.

Instead of offering him privacy, John settles on the opposite side of the bed, and puts one hand on one of Rodney’s feet. “It’s alright,” he says. “Whatever you want.”

At that, Rodney looks annoyed, and starts looking like himself again. “You know what I want! It… This had seemed like a good idea, but I… Maybe it wasn’t.” John’s heart drops. “Maybe I can just… just send you an encrypted picture and, and, you’d see that I’d done it, and--”

“Rodney?”

“Yes?” Rodney snaps, sounding irritated.

“Show me,” John says, dragging his hand from Rodney’s feet up to his knee, touching it gently but with enough weight to not tickle him. Despite Rodney’s nerves, John does his best to focus on what’s coming and the sexual tension, and not the temptation to call this off and have dinner while discussing Star Trek movies’ merits and faults. “Show me how much you want me to fuck you.”

That seems to work, at least enough that Rodney lets one of his knees fall to the side, giving John a great view of his cock. It’s not small, by any means, but not big either. Although John supposes his view is distorted. Rodney’s cock is half-hard, as if it too is scared to show itself. John keeps caressing Rodney’s leg, and gives Rodney what he hopes is bedroom eyes.

Rodney doesn’t waste too much time, and quickly lifts his other leg up a bit to allow - wow, the toy disappears in seconds. John’s frankly impressed, if a little disappointed that there hasn’t been much of a show yet. He hasn’t properly seen that first moment of entry, that gentle pushback he’d expected Rodney’s body to give.

Something must have shown in his face, because Rodney turns redder than before. “It’s-- I-- I prepared. You know. In the shower.”

_ Oh, fuck,  _ John thinks. Even in his own mind, he can’t think of anything more articulate.

Rodney closes his eyes, and touches the toy in a way that must make it vibrate, because suddenly there’s a low humming sound. With his head tilted back, Rodney plays for a while, allowing his left hand to take the toy in and out less than an inch, while his right hand strokes his cock a little bit at a time, getting it fully erect. John’s a little disappointed that Rodney doesn’t have his eyes open so John could see, but his disappointment is short lived. After barely thirty seconds, Rodney opens his eyes, and starts thrusting the toy just a little harder while staring at John’s chest and abs. John sympathizes with Carter again, a little, although he doubts she got this particular view while Rodney stared at her breasts.

After some of that, Rodney takes the prostate massager out, turns it off, and puts it into what looks like a freezer bag. He reaches for the next thing, which is a dildo that is larger than John had expected. Not that he knew all that much about dildos - for himself he’s satisfied with fingers, and can’t afford to be caught with a dildo anyway, and for his female partners he just hasn’t paid too much attention to their vibrators. Still, he’d bet money on the fact that Rodney’s dildo isn’t what most people have in their drawers. He can’t tell how many inches any more than he could count beans in a jar, but seeing Rodney spread lube over it with two hands makes it clear that it was well above average.

Rodney settles back, and pushes his body lower, spreading his legs. His feet then push against the bed, making it dip a little. John sees Rodney’s pink asshole for a brief moment before Rodney, using both hands, starts pushing the dildo towards it. Unlike the little prostate massager, this one doesn’t slide in. It’s obviously meeting resistance, and Rodney keeps struggling with it.

“Do you want to use another one?” John asks.

“No,” Rodney says, voice gone. He sounds...sated, almost. Happy. “I’m-- I like this part.”

John’s heart starts racing, and he crawls over, now on all fours with his head between Rodney’s knees. “Yeah?” he says, breathless.

Rodney nods. “Mmm,” he hums, affirming. “It doesn’t hurt, it’s like… It’s like pressure, not pain. It feels really good, almost like getting rimmed.” He really does sound like he’s enjoying himself.

“I can help,” John offers, and covers one of Rodney’s hands with his own, balancing on his left arm. Rodney removes his hands, letting John take control. His eyes are closed. John takes this chance to look at the view, drink in how happy Rodney looks already; nipples hard, legs spread, almost mewling as John pushes the dildo against his hole.

It doesn’t take long for the head to pop in, and when Rodney groans, John almost does, too. Instead, he controls himself, and inch by inch, keep pressing on. It’s amazing, seeing Rodney take all of it in. Both because he can now definitely imagine his own cock finally getting into tight heat like that again, and because this feels so terribly intimate.

“W-wait a little,” Rodney says, almost a whisper, when the dildo is all the way in. John waits. He can wait a little, he can wait a lot, anything to get to do this. He can’t believe his luck. Of all the people on this side of the galaxy, it’s Rodney. Not anybody under his command, not an alien he’d have trouble bringing to Atlantis, not the expedition leader, not an Ancient. It’s Rodney. He gets to do this with Rodney.

“Now,” Rodney says, sounding a bit more sober now.

“Now what?” John says, already drawing the dildo out just a little, ready to push it back.

“Now fuck me with it,” Rodney says, then rolls his eyes as if he’s humoring one of his lab assistants.

“Your wish is my command,” John jokes, then pushes the dildo back in, hard. He knows he can’t go that hard if he pulls back too much, so he focuses on short, hard strokes. If Rodney’s pleased humming is any indication, he’s not doing a bad job.

“Alright,” Rodney says suddenly, eyes wide open and staring at John when he looks up to meet them. “You can stop, I’ll take over.”

“I can go faster,” John says, doing just that as he speaks. He doesn’t want to stop.

“Mmm, probably,” Rodney says, but still nudges John’s hand away. “But I have something else in mind.” Holding the base of the huge dildo in, Rodney maneuvers himself up in a less-than-graceful way. When he’s done, his back’s to John. But the lack of grace doesn’t matter at all in a matter of seconds, because Rodney is - oh god, Rodney’s riding the thing.

John stares, not knowing what to say, as Rodney holds the base of the dildo with one hand, and uses his other hand to thrust himself up and down. Now his moans are louder. “This-- this way I can-- get my prostate,” Rodney breathes out. For someone who hates the gym, he doesn’t seem to have an issue with running out of breath if it means he gets a big cock in his ass, apparently.

John gets up and takes his jeans and boxers off in one go, not bothering with his socks because he doesn’t have a moment to lose. “Let me, let me,” he chants, getting back on the bed, stroking his cock. He places himself behind Rodney, his chest to Rodney’s back, and starts stroking Rodney’s cock as well as he can from this angle, which isn’t all that good but he’s about to  _ explode  _ if he doesn’t participate. His cock’s leaking all over Rodney’s back and aching, actually  _ aching. _

“Fuck that’s so hot,” John almost-growls, feeling Rodney grind up and down against him. “Let me-- fuck, Rodney can I-- can I fuck you?”

If Rodney’s surprised, he doesn’t bring it up. He pauses briefly, then slides off the dildo. He then wipes some sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, then moves forward until he’s on his elbows and knees. The view is quite literally breath-taking, and John has to remind himself that breathing is necessary, especially to do what he wants to do now.

“Condom,” he says, through the haze. “Where?”

Rodney reaches into his drawer without looking, there’s some rustling sounds, then a condom packet hits John in the chest. His one hand is still a bit sticky from the lube, but he manages to get the thing out of the wrapper and onto his cock in what feels like record time. Then, after taking a few seconds to enjoy the view, he puts his cockhead against Rodney’s hole.

“I’ll go slow,” he promises, more to himself than to Rodney. He  _ is  _ bigger than the dildo was, he needs to be careful. He can _ not  _ ruin this for himself or Rodney.

Rodney makes a sound a bit like a soft snort, but doesn’t comment.

Despite his efforts to be slow, he pushes in much faster than he intends to. The friction feels so good. And Rodney--Rodney’s amazing. He’s grunting and raising his ass and-- Fuck, John’s in to the hilt already. Fuck. How many years since he’s felt this?

He thinks Rodney might be thinking the exact same thing, because Rodney sighs happily, and looks back with a half-smile. “Good?” Rodney asks unnecessarily.

“More than good,” John says, and pulls back an inch to push back hard, like he’d done with the dildo. Rodney answers that by closing his eyes and moaning, and John knows he’s a goner. There is no way they can do this just once. Not when Rodney’s… “You’re amazing,” he says, because he is.

“Save the compliments for later,” Rodney says, but he sounds pleased. “Now fuck me.”

So John does. For a few minutes, all he does is slow, long strokes, fondling Rodney’s ass cheeks, enjoying the feeling of being buried deep in him, and teasing himself, a little. Rodney doesn’t complain. He looks almost like a person getting a massage, content and quiet. Very unlike Rodney McKay, really.

Then John decides that he should probably stop the teasing, and leans down on top of Rodney, changing the angle a bit. “Let me know when I hit it,” he asks, voice husky. He’s so turned on, he’s surprised he can speak in full sentences.

“A bit more downwa--” Rodney starts, then moans when John hits it. “Yeah,” he breathes out, after.

“Roger that,” John says, chuckling. Then he starts fucking into Rodney like his life depends on it, trying to put as much pressure as he can on Rodney’s prostate. His size means it isn’t difficult to brush against it, but he wants to really hit it. Every time he does, Rodney gives him all the positive incentive a person can need; shudders, moans, groans, gasps,... He sounds like he’s in heaven.

“Touch yourself,” John says hurriedly, as his peak approaches much more quickly than he’d expected.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck,  _ he thinks, trying hard not to come yet. It would feel so, so fucking good to make Rodney come with his cock. His cock that most of the time makes bed partners either refuse to sleep with him, or refuse to take all of it in. Here’s Rodney, enjoying it, moaning happily.

Rodney shuffles a bit to get a hand under himself, and John watches as his shoulder shakes, waiting for the moment that it stops moving, so John can finally let go too. He doesn’t quite make it - who can blame him, honestly, it’s been  _ so long  _ \- but Rodney comes before John’s even regained his breath. His whole body shudders as Rodney thrashes a bit under him during his orgasm.

“Wow,” Rodney says, breathing heavily as if he’s run for miles. “Off,” he instructs John, who reluctantly untangles himself and gets off the bed.

“That was great,” John says. It’s an understatement, but he’s sure Rodney knows that.

“Yes,” Rodney agrees. He hesitates, then adds, gesturing at his big dildo. “Should I put this up in the attic, then?” he says, his voice breaking a bit, like a teenager’s.

“Nah,” John says, shaking his head. “I’m sure you’ll use it again soon.”

“Oh.” Rodney looks crest-fallen again, and starts staring at the floor. Discretion is going to be near impossible with this man, isn’t it? John wonders how likely he is to be court-martialed again.

“Yeah,” John says, in a slow drawl that he knows Rodney likes, no matter how many times he’s mocked it. That’s the give-away, actually. “I think you need to prove it to me a few more times that you really like it.”

The change is instant, as always. Rodney sits straight up, looking at John with wide, hopeful eyes. “I can do that,” he says, nodding fast. “I can definitely do that.”

“Cool.”


End file.
